DIY Halong Bay in the Ricefields

So, I didn't go to Ha Long Bay--that doesn't mean that I didn't get my fill of the karst landscape, though. About two hours away from Hanoi (three according to LP...) via the public bus which was actually better and nicer than some of the "v.i.p" buses that I've taken in other countries.

I honestly don't remember when my last haircut was--so, this morning, when I woke up at 6am, I go to the bathroom, and discover that I could pass for an 80s soft rock singer--my yellow mane looking almost like a mullet, as it floated above my head. Fortunately, I spared others the sight of me looking like Hall and Oates, and tamed the mane via a brief shower.

I was going to take the night train to Hue tonight, and I figured, like I did last night, that this is se asia--booking less than 24 hours in advance isn't a problem, I'll get it, etc. Well, there was a problem--the only seats available on the night train to Hue were "hard sleepers." If I was travelling with someone else, I might have considered it, but I'm not, so I just decided to hop on a plane tmw morning--I actually get to Hue earlier than the train gets in, and thus, don't have to waste a day. And the plane wasn't that much more expensive than what I would have paid for a sleeper seat on the train if I had gotten a first class or a soft sleeper.

Looking up other options for what to do for the day, I discovered in the LP guidebook a place called Tam Coc, which they described as Ha Long Bay in the ricefields. I figured I had nothing else to lose, so I might as well do it. Took a motorbike to the bus station, and was greeted by the site of the typical polluted haze over Hanoi.

After being ushered through the bus station where I bought my ticket, I get on a bus--and I sit--and sit--and sit. The bus leaves every hour and I got there with 45 minutes to spare. Fortunately, it was airconditioned--something I wasn't necessarily expecting. We finally get started, slowing down every so often to pull in additional passengers, and then hit the road. Of course, the serenade of honking never ends--and my head is basically pounding by the halfway point. View from the road is interesting, as you see the ridgeline of karst mountains outlining the foreground of the green and yellow ricefields. Interestingly, for a majority buddhist country, there are occasional churches plopped out in the middle of the ricefields.

Get to Ninh Binh--the bus stop, and a motorbike driver promptly swoops in and takes me to Tam Coc. A word about Vietnamese motorbike drivers for hire--though traffic may be a mess--chaos doesn't even begin to describe it--they are all equipped with an additional helmet for their passenger--a first in SE Asia--and they insist that you wear it. Of course, the helmet doesn't really cover all that much--just the crown of the head--think of it as a fortified ball cap--but it is nice to know that they at least care, in theory, about their passenger's safety.

Tam Coc is basically a river through the karst landscape that rises above the ricefields. It certainly spectacular, but, as blase as this sounds, once you see the first couple of karsts, it kind of starts to get a little boring, especially when the sun is beating down on you. I was glad that the boat ride I took was only the standard two hours--in hindsight, I'm glad I didn't do the Ha Long Bay cruise--I think I would have been bored shitless after the first couple of hours, and probably subsequently disgusted by the rest of the booze cruisers.

Interesting/funny story of the day: after getting back to the bus station, I had to use the toilet. My problem: I don't know the Vietnamese word for toilet. Whoops. When I said toilet the first time, they pointed to their watch thinking I had said something about the time. Acting like a dumb/stupid westerner who comes to a place without knowing the language, and expecting the locals to speak english perfectly, I repeated the word toilet, only saying it louder. When they, not so surprisingly, didn't understand what I was saying, I did one of the most awkward sign language gestures of my life: I mimicked unzipping my pants and holding my genitalia as any normal male would do when they pissed. It might have been awkward, but, hey, it worked--they realized what I wanted and pointed directly to the toilet--and I was able to relieve myself, as well as probably be the talk of the local bus station for a couple of days, as the guys I tried to ask started laughing, and I saw them imitating me as I walked back.

It was certainly a fine way to kill a day, but I'm glad to be moving down to Hue and seeing the rest of Vietnam, even if it means a 4am wakeup call to get to the airport. It will be nice to get away from the horns. My general plan--see the citadel and some of the tombs tmw, and then the next day, do a DMZ tour--Hue was very close to the DMZ, and its airport started off as an American forward landing strip.